A Strange Thing To Say

I know it must seem to you like the strangest thing to say
But in the winter of his presence i've always felt warm and safe
I always knew no skirt no suit would ever bother me
As long as he is present, as long as this man stayed close to me.

I do like his company, I enjoy it, in fact
He's the only human friend that I ever had
Which is quite ironic, 'cause he's mostly occupied
By the methods that exist to blow out people's lights.

I wouldn't be surprised at all
If someday I found out
That he had thoroughly checked on my life
And on my background,
And confidently reconfirmed
By the things he didn't find
He then granted me access to a small part
Of his secret life ...

I know it must seem to you
Like the strangest thing to say
But in the winter of his presence
I've always felt warm and safe.

I never had to worry though, it can't give me the chills
Because, you see, men are the only species that he kills
Oh, that's why I love his company, quite enjoy it, in fact
He is the only human friend that I ever had.

I rarely ponder on him
In the wayward hours of the day
But am surprised at my own delight
I find in seeing him again
White shirt, black tie, exquisite twine
I'm brewing tea, he's having wine
It's quite seductive, if it's right
The perfect way to spend the night.

I do like his company, I enjoy it, in fact
He's the only human friend that I ever had
Which is quite ironic, 'cause he's mostly occupied
By the methods that exist to blow out people's lights
I never had to worry though, it can't give me the chills
Because, you see, men are the only species that he kills
Oh, that's why I love his company, quite enjoy it, in fact
He is the only human friend that I ever had.

Each act performed is like a ballet, a prayer, precise and acute
Oh, how I do admire such perfect business-like attitude
Both in style and execution, virtuously immaculate
And flawlessly equated to the savage fee that he has set.

Built just like the ideal of an athlete, my champion of sorts
His price is one that only broken hearts are willing to afford
Death is always quite disastrous, messy, common and obscene
But in the golden hour when he leaves all is stainless, all is clean.

If I, one day, might also decide to need
This special kind of service that this man provides
Oh, I will pray that my fate kindly agrees to the plot
And sends someone like this man to come and finish the job
Because I just cannot bear the foul and blasphemous thought
That involves getting slain by some filthy amateur's hands.

I know it must seem to you like the strangest thing to say
But in the winter of his presence I always felt warm and safe.

I know that you must surely think me mad
But he's the most human friend that I ever had ...