Abeyance

As the candles yawned
My world grew darker
'Til barely a detail remained.

Parchment and smoke
Through distant chimes
Moths carried by the breeze.

Her finger to my lips
I am stilled in an instant
I sip, and am numbed
From here the path winds backwards.

At first I see my entering
And then steps in reverse
Descent where I had fallen.

Familiar, all is skewed
And yet I cannot reflect
Beyond my eyelids, I have died
Yet I collapse into youth.

Familiar, all is frayed
And yet I cannot abide
Beyond my eyelids, I have died.

Days are merging quickly now
Into years that spiral from my chest
They pass but leave no mark.

I swallow forgotten words
To gain what was lost
And lost what was gained
Until neither is real
Behind my head, her hands hold no weight.

I have reached a beginning
But somehow I do not stop
I fall through the first moment
To find that there is more.

As light cascades
Through the hole my body has torn
Already, it is closing.