All Hail The Brain

(whispering, contrapuntally)
Brain's gonna do it!
Brain's gonna do it!
Friday night, the Brain's gonna do it!
Friday night, we go to the mall
And Brain's gonna get us into the movie!
Gonna go see “The Bloodmaster”!
Friday night, “The Bloodmaster”!
Friday night, Friday night!
Brain's gonna do it!
Brain's gonna do it!

(a sudden inspiration)
I have a plan
I have a plan
Possibly, I think I have a plan
It'll take a lot of work
It'll take a lot of luck
But when it all comes through
They'll say:

“All Hail the Brain!
He does what no mere mortal can!
He's the man!
Evan Goldman!

All Hail the Brain!
He did what no one else could do
Saw us through
Saved the day!”
And all I have to do is.

Wait ‘til Mom goes to sleep
Then sneak the license from the wallet in her purse
Make a color Xerox, laminate it
Then put the license back in the wallet in her purse
Then find the dress she wore
In the picture on the license that I copied and I laminated
Wear the dress
Get a wig
Show the license
Buy the tickets…
What could go wrong?

Brett's gonna do it!
Brett's gonna do it!
Friday night, Brett's gonna do it!
Friday night at “The Bloodmaster”
Brett's gonna do The Tongue with Kendra!
Friday night at the movie at the mall!
And Brain's gonna get us in!

(at the last second, another inspiration)
I have a plan!
A better plan
Actually, an almost-perfect plan
It sounds absolutely nuts
It'll take a lot of guts
But when it all comes through
They'll say:

“All Hail the Brain!
Give that Bar Mitzvah Boy a hand!
Ain't he grand?
Ain't he great!
And all I have to do is.

Go that day to the movie theater
Break into the projection room
Steal the reels of film for The Bloodmaster
Take ‘em down the hall where they're showing Bambi
Switch the reels
Leave the theater
Tell the guys we're gonna go see Bambi!

(again, the realization hits that this is a disastrous idea)
What could go wrong?

(to EVAN, surreptitiously)
Hey, Brain, did you set up my date for Friday?

Date?
With Kendra!
(Eureka!) Date! Date!