Anything Goes

Times have changed
And we've often rewound the clock
Since the Puritans got a shock
When they landed on Plymouth Rock
If today
Any shock they should try to stem
'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock
Plymouth Rock would land on them.

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking
But now, God knows
Anything goes
Good authors, too, who once knew better words
Now only use four-letter words
Writing prose
Anything goes.

If driving fast cars you like
If low bars you like
If old hymns you like
If bare limbs you like
If Mae West you like
Or me undressed you like
Why, nobody will oppose
When ev'ry night the set that's smart is
Intruding at nudist parties
In studios
Anything goes.

When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)
Can get Russian reds to "yes" her
Then I suppose
Anything goes
When Rockefeller still can hoard en-
-ough money to let Max Gordon
Produce his shows
Anything goes.

The world has gone mad today
And good's bad today
And black's white today
And day's night today
And that gent today
You gave a cent today
Once had several chateaus
When folks who still can ride in jitneys
Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys
Lack baby clothes
Anything goes.

When Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction
Instruct Anna Sten in diction
Then 'Nana' shows
Anything goes
When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up
Now turns a handspring landing up-
On her toes
Anything goes.

Just think of those shocks you've got
And those knocks you've got
And those blues you've got
From that news you've got
And those pains you've got
(If any brains you've got)
From those little radios
So Missus R., with all her trimmings
Can broadcast abed from Simmons
Cause Franklin knows
Anything goes.