Army

Well I thought about the army
Dad said son you're fuckin high
And I thought yeah there's a first for everything
So I took my old man's advice
Three sad semesters
It was only fifteen grand.

Spent in bed I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead
Grew a mustache and a mullet
Got a job at chic-fil-a.

Citing artistic differences the band broke up in May
And in June reformed without me and they got a different name
I nuked another grandma's apple pie
And hung my head in shame
Been thinking a lot today
Been thinking a lot today.

Oh I think I'll write a screenplay
Oh I think I'll take it to LA
Oh I think I'll get it done yesterday (aw shit)
In this time of introspection
On the eve of my election
I say to my reflection
God please spare me more rejection.

Cause my peers they criticize me
And my ex-wives all despise me.

Try to put it all behind me
But my redneck past is nipping at my heels
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I thought about the army.