Awakenings

When we first met the well was dry
A long dark winter passed us by
With shooting stars and hopeful hearts our worlds collide
And so we rushed to fill each other in.

Quick to feed our hungry hopes
A feast of our affections we were born anew
With open eyes we tried to make it work
And for a while the magic took
But cracks began to show as soon as things got hard.

Like paper walls our feelings tore
We threw our backs against the door
Unwilling to bear witness to the other side.

Oh, the games we play to hide the tangled dread inside
The fear that we are going nowhere fast
So we point the finger out, the anger gets so loud
It drowns out all the sorrow, at least until tomorrow...what then?

I took a good hard look at how I loved
Years I squandered falling fast
For any boy who'd have me was so insecure
I'd lie awake alone at night
Full of loathing, compromised
And wondering how the hell did I end up like this.

Oh, the tears of rage I cried, when nowhere could I find
An answer that made any kind of sense to me
I point the finger out, the anger gets so loud
It drowns out all the sorrow, at least until tomorrow...what then?

Oh I wanna learn, I wanna know
Will our history crush us or can we let it go?
I'm not the girl I was but what have I become?
I'm not so willing anymore to bend
Still pleasing and conceding
But I'm not gonna lose myself again.