Broke

Nate
Can i just take a second here
To clear the air, and bend your ear?
I'm not sure you quite understand
Why you should lend this friend a hand?

I'm an educated, stand up guy
Who is more than just a suit and tie
Just a decent and hardworking man
Who always had a five year plan.

So jeez!
I mean, please?
I'm no scammy, slimy slob
I've just veered off my track a bit
Cause ma'am, i've lost my job!

I'm totally broke!
And this feeling is new to me
I'm suddenly broke
And it's not like it used to be
I had regular hours
And magical powers
And cufflinks and clout!
Now i'm broke!
(and kinda freakin' out.)

Althea
You are not singing the blues to me, sir.

Nate (cont'd)
I was a master of the universe
A golden boy with a golden purse
But not one of those wall street jerks!
Though i will admit, i liked the perks...

Like that private jet we flew to france
And these hundred dollar underpants
And the lexus
And the river view...
You know feed the children? I fed two!

But my rent's three months late
And i'm living on ramen and beans
Shoulda put it away
For some rainy day
Now i know what a rainy day means!

I'm flat broke!
From a decade long spending spree
Unbelievably broke!
Facebook friends are unfriending me!

Nate
If i could go back in time
I'd go back and tell
Myself to pay attention
I would not write that joke
Describing my boss
With words i should (maybe not) mention
Delete it, nate! Not worth it, man!
The payoff's really small
But the consequences will be huge.

When you hit
Reply
All.

Althea
Dumbass.

Nate
I'm broker than broke!
And not just financially
This whole thing has brok-
En my sense of who i should be.

Cause my amex is --

Nate & back-ups
Maxed

Nate
My mastercard --

Nate & back-ups
Maxed

Nate
My bloomingdales, bendels & barneys.

Back-ups
All maxed.

Nate
Oh my t.j.

Back-ups
Maxxed!

Nate
Foot locker.

Back-ups
That too.

Nate
I'm drownin' in debt and don't know what to do!

I know it seems squalid
But do me this solid
I know (i know!) That you can.

This metrocard was my only card that still worked.

Oh, please
Please sweet lady.

Help a
Baffled
Broken
Broke-
Ass
Man.