By Jeeves

It is patently clear
Any awkwardness here
Can be cleared up in less than a trice
Our identity switch
Who is who, which is which
We're in need of some solid advice
There's a painfully simple solution
It's as plain as the nose on your face.

By gad!
By gosh!
By heck!
By gum!
By rabbit's foot!
By kingdom come!
By all my sainted aunt believes!
By George!
By Jove!

By Jeeves!
When we're faced with the grind
Of exerting the mind
We are filled with a deep sense of dread.

"How on earth," I hear cries
"Does one give exercise
To a thing that's in bed in your head?"

What we need is a free range consultant
Where on earth do you find one of those?
By hook! By crook!
By way! By pass!
By sea! By air!
By road!
By grass!
By seven dwarves!
By forty thieves!
By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!
By shuttlecock!
By croquet hoop!
By Panama!
By Windsor soup!
By all those cards tucked up his sleeves!

By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!
Our collective I.Q.
Of around 42
Cannot cope, to be perfectly frank
All true leaders of men
Delegate now and then
Try to keep their minds totally blank
To appreciate loftier matters.

Things that mostly go over my head
By derby day!
By nursery tea!
By moose!
By spoons!
By half past three!
By every tender breast that heaves!
By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

By marmalade!
By bowler hat!
By toothpaste tube!
By Burmese cat!
By baby newts!
By autumn leaves!

By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!
Behold how Jeeves with sleight of hand
Conceives a scheme so carefully planned
Even we can understand
If he takes it terribly slowly.

By Basingstoke!
By cardboard box!
By Budge's knees!
By Bassett's socks!
By each that conjuror deceives!
By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

By jumping jack!
By easy chair!
By Bain Marie!
By Camembert!
By every fruit bat in the eaves!
By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!
By walking boot!
By thermal drawers!
By canapes!
By Santa Claus!
By all his mighty brain achieves!
By every spell the master weaves!
By heck! By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!
By Jeeves! By Jeeves! By Jeeves!
By Jeeves!