By My Own Hand

As I lay down
My aching flesh embraced the wasted ground
The fading day retreats again
The fearless night will follow.

Consuming life-like shadows
There's nothing more to see.

The hollow world
That lies beyond my reach
Within the other sad souls dwell
Without a place for me.

Consuming life-like shadows
There's nothing more to see.

The braided web beneath my skin
The fragile veil that holds me in
And when it's lifted from my eyes
No more illusion, no disguise.

And in the shroud of my despair
No hope, no light, no prayer.

I see the strangers stand and stare
The secrets of my heart laid bare
Their cold hard hands concede no care
And now I see I am alone.

For all but one a faceless man
Who whispers softly in my ear
Confides in me the hollow truth
As empty as my broken form
Left as my soul prepares to flee
And now I see I am alone.

I lie alone
My sallow flesh no longer can I call my own
A fate enthrals those gathered round
By my own hand, by my own hand.

And as oblivion, once welcome
Now unfurls before me
An endless void, a fallen pride
From here there's but one road.

And as the snow begins to fall like ash around me
To conceal my mortal shame
My instinct screams to pull myself back
From the point of no return.

My frozen limbs lie at my side
My weakened heart is almost still
The dimming of my troubled thoughts
The raging of an iron will.

Raging for a life soon cast aside
No resolution with it's end
Weeping for the lives they lived in vain
No choice in death, no chance to mend.

And through the burning tears that never fall
I find my sight slowly restored
What once seemed a desperate flight
Morphs into a fate abhorred.

And then I find a calm resolve
Heavy eyes stung by the hungry cold
Faltering I walk away
By my own hand.