California English

Wouldn't ever gag you with a spoon, my only true love
Never really heard you speak that way, it's unworthy of…
Funny how that little college girl called language corrupt
Funny how the other private schools had no Hapa Club.

Someone took a trip before you came to ski in the Alps
Your father moved across the country
Just to sunburn his scalp
Contra Costa, Contra Mundum, contradict what I say
Living like the French Connection, but we'll die in LA.

Blasted from a disconnected light switch
Through the condo that they'll never finish
Bounced across a Saudi satellite dish
And through your brain to California English.

No one sits inside a freezing flat and stays there ‘til May
Leafing through a stack of A-Zs to surf the UK
Waiting with the wind against your face
And gel in your hair
Shivering in little undershirts, but don't seem to care.

Blasted from a disconnected light switch
Through the condo that they'll never finish
Bounced across a Saudi satellite dish
And through your brain to California English.

Sweet carob rice cake
She don't care how the sweets taste
Fake Philly cheese steak
But she use real toothpaste.

Cuz if that Tom's don't work
If it just makes you worse
Would you loose all of you faith in the good Earth.

And if it's all a curse
And we're just getting worse
Baby, please don't lose your faith in the good earth.

Blasted from a disconnected light switch
Through the condo that they'll never finish
Bounced across a Saudi satellite dish
And through your brain to California English.