Calm

So
I am on the 6th train heading uptown to my lit professors office
It's like light years off of campus
Don't ask me why
I'm sandwiched in-between this guy who's literally drooling
And this European hipster who, well lets be honest, smells.

Wood Allen, reversed right in the air when he thought Manhattan
Well I'm not so impressed, I hear like Philip lasted best
I spend all my time just trying to get
Calm
But it's not working.

Cause like my lit professor told me I'm like flunking out of grad. school
I was not aware that flunking out of grad. School was a thing
But I've been spending all my savings paying rent and eating pizza
Not to mention that this morning I found my dog like
Died
I don't remember the Muppets getting hives
When they took Manhattan
But my Odiagnosis says I'm creeping toward psychosis
Cause I cannot find a place to get
Calm
It's really hard you know.

I tried to take up yoga
But you'll be surprised how many folks don't think deodorant is Zen
I even saw a life coach who told me I should breathe
Just breathe
But every time I took in a breathe
I visualize that life coach's death
She's having brunch at cafE Pierre
And she's choking
And choking
And choking
Till finally she's calm.

I'm sorry
Anyway, my lit. professor told me that my thesis on Virginia Woolf
Is dangerously close to winding up an incomplete
I tell him what I'm working from is not so much a thesis
It's the fact that she went crazy
And that seems so apropo
My professor just tosses back his head
And a dry Manhattan
I'm wondering which will him quicker
The big apple or the liquor
When suddenly I panic
And I tell myself I must get someplace
Calm.

I up and run toward Penn station like I swear my head was ready to blow
And I hop a train to Jersey
Just as fast as any person can go
Then 90 minutes out
I get off at some prudential hamlet I've never heard of
There's a real state office right on the block
I can afford a two bedroom
I go into shock
I think, what the heck
I write a check
Cause there's sunlight, and closets, and laundry
But mostly it's calm
Calm
Calm
Calm
Calm
Really calm
Strangely calm
Like time square at five A.M. calm
Like totally freak me out calm
Like I'm gonna slowly go crazy and throw myself over the balcony calm.

Damn it.

So
I tear up my deposit
And I head back to Penn station
Of course the subway's broken
So I walk four miles home
And like 14 hours later
I get back to my apartment
With my crazy spastic roommates
And a room, well, of my own
I've got this black and white poster on my wall
That says “my Manhattan”
And I give it the finger
But I let my gaze linger
And I notice how the buildings line up perfectly in rows
And how the city has been planned
And how the city planning shows
And suddenly I'm stuck with this bizarre old inspiration
To like find a real solution and fix my model desolation
I sit on my bed
And I realize I'm finally
Calm.