Charlie The Midnight Marauder

Calling car four one
Calling car four one
Investigate a code seven
At one one six West 14th Street and report
Looks like Charlie's at it again!

Oh, Charlie was raised in the city
He scoffed at the suburban life
Till Satan disguised as a salesman
Bewitched and bewildered his wife.

She heard of the pleasures of rural life
With barbecues under the tree
And so for a mere forty thousand
He purchased their dream-house with ease.

He rose before dawn every morning
To dreamily fall into line
And follow that bumper before him
To be on the job before nine.

His dream-house of crumbling stucco
Was more like a nightmarish load
His weekends were spent in hard labor
He dug and he pruned and he mowed.

One night an electrical failure
Blacked out every street in the tract
Our hero drove up in confusion
But couldn't locate his new shack.

Each cracker-box looked like the one next door
As far as the eye could see
And he cursed to himself as he pondered
"Now where in the world can it be?"

He searched till a door looked familiar
Then tried out his key in the lock
The door opened wide and he entered
Poor Charlie was on the wrong block!

He strode to the couch of his sleeping love
He kissed her and backed off in fright
The girl he had kissed was a stranger
Who screamed and ran out in the night.

They caught him a few minutes later
Still rooted and shaking with fear
They called him the Midnight Marauder
And put him away for a year.

And put him away for a year
And put him away for a year
They called him the Midnight Marauder
And put him away for a year.

When a salesman is touting suburbia
He's doing it purely for self
Remember the story of Charlie
And tell him to move there himself.

And tell him to move there himself
And tell him to move there himself
Remember the story of Charlie
And tell him to move there himself.