Contagious Transparency

I am alive and dead at the same time
I walk and feel you and I see through you
I exist yet I don’t live anymore
I look at your face and see the reality of it all.

Surrounded by the hearts I know of
Who know what troubles my mind
Hoping I never become part of;
This fucked up society, so unkind.

But this poison is almost like air,
I breathe in and forget who I was
How in the hell is that fair?
When this life - I just want it to pause.

I am locked inside myself; losing peace
Becoming the society I wanted to cease
How could I become so transparent
Losing my breath, wondering where it went.

Years pass by as I get weaker
Losing all the energy to concentrate,
Only when I’m by myself, I realize -
I’m poisoned and something inside me dies.

I notice those traits in me,
That I hated in others
I understand that I got infected
And I became transparent like everyone else.