D.O.A.

[CHARON]
Seen plenty of people all over the years
From heroes to half-bloods, with their pitiful tears
Thinkin' that they'll save a loved one
From below

[ENSEMBLE]
Oh no, oh no! Oh no!

[CHARON]
They think they'll pop down for a quick trip

[JAMES BROWN]
But it don't work like that!

[CHARON]
So kids
Here's a tip

You ain't gettin' out
We gotcha and we ain't lettin' go

[ENSEMBLE]
Oh no! Oh no!

[CHARON]
Down here you're D.O.A.
And you're here to stay

Yeah, you're stuck forever
Never get away

No hope of survival
You're dead on arrival!

(Spoken)
What do you think of my song?

[ANNABETH]
(Spoken)
It's great.

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Was that James Brown?

[CHARON]
(Spoken)
We have all the greats down here! Mozart, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain. Who do you feel like listening to?

[GROVER]
(Spoken)
Ooh! Um, do you have any Josh Groban?

[CHARON]
(Spoken)
Mm. We will. Eventually.

(Sung)
I ferry the souls of the newly deceased
I got a sweet ride, it was newly leased!
And if the dead complain, I just
Turn up the stereo

[ENSEMBLE]
Come sail away, come sail away

[JANIS JOPLIN]
We get our kicks 'cross the River Styx

[KURT COBAIN]
It's a permanent trip, so don't try no tricks

[MOZART]
Gentleman und ladies, it's Hades who runs the show

[CHARON]
(Spoken)
(chuckles) Oh, look, it's the Vienna Boys' Choir. They crashed their bus on the way to sing for the Vatican.

[GROVER]
(Spoken)
They're kids.

[CHARON]
(Spoken)
They're lucky! Their voices will never change now.

[VIENNA BOYS' CHOIR]
(Sung)
Eins, zwei, drei
Down here you're D.O.A.
And you're here to stay
Yeah, you're stuck forever
Never get away
No hope of survival

[CHARON]
(Spoken)
You're dead!
Who has two turntables and three sick heads? Everybody give it up for D.J. Cerberus!

[ENSEMBLE]
D.O.A.
D.O.A.

[CHARON]
Down here you're D.O.A.
And you're here to stay
Yeah, you're stuck forever
Never get away
No hope of survival
You're dead on arrival!
Dead on arrival

[ENSEMBLE]
Can't get, can't get away
Can't get away 'cause you're D.O.A. now
Can't get, can't get away
D.O.A., D.O.A.
Can't get, can't get away
Can't get away 'cause you're D.O.A. now
Can't get, can't get away
D.O.A.
Can't get, can't get away
Can't get away 'cause you're D.O.A. now
Can't get, can't get away
D.O.A.
Can't get, can't get away
Can't get away 'cause you're D.O.A. now
Can't get, can't get away
D.O.A. [CHARON]
Oooh yeah!

You ain't ever gonna save what matters
You ain't gonna protect your friends
You ain't ever gonna be remembered
This is where your story ends
Today

[ALL]
D.O.A.!