Daddy's Girl

[Edie]
Don't believe a word of my mother.
Interfering pain-in-the... can.
Burning up with unspoken envy
I got me a bona fide man.
[Joe] Don't change the subject-

[Edie]
She and daddy don't have "relations."
Separate rooms with double-locked doors.
"S-e-x" for her and her eunuch
Stopped at The Punic Wars.
I'm my daddy's girl!
Chip off the old man's block.
Yes, my daddy's girl!
Proper and prim as Plymouth Rock.
"Take off that lipstick!"
"Wash off that perfume!"
"How dare you wear high heels!"
As my daddy's girl,
I'm impassioned
By good old-fashioned ideals!
Father will be home soon enough, Joe. Talk to him.

[Joe]
Why? Because he's willing to cover for you-

[Edie]
No. Because he loves me. He's not competing...
Mother has a yen for the spotlight
Daddy disapproves of the stage.
"Never get your name in the papers...
Except for the nuptial page."

[Joe] Now Edie

[Edie]
"Modulate your voice to a whisper."
"Always hide your sexual side."
[Joe] That's enough!

[Edie]
As for "getting drunk" in that frat house-

[Joe] What?!

[Edie]
-Father O'Hanlon lied!
I'm my daddy's girl!
[Joe] Listen to yourself!

[Edie]
Virginal as a saint.
That's my daddy's girl!
[Joe] You're getting hysterical!

[Edie]
Model of utter self-restraint!
Insinuations!
False accusations!
Slander from Harvard boys-
[Joe] Who?!

[Edie]
-On a daddy's girl!
I ignore 'em
With charm, decorum and poise!

[Joe]
Before he gets married, there are certain things a guy's gotta know-

[Edie]
I'm a good girl! A Miss Porter girl!
All-American apple pie,
Catholic as the Pope's right eye,
In here, Joe, my heart, Joe, I'm pure.
Maybe not like the driven snow...
All the same, next to some I know,
Girls who smoke and read "Fanny Hill"
While I was reading de Tocqueville...
Listen to reason
Let's not be immature.
Honestly, Joe...
I thought you said that you were "sure."

[Joe] I know what I said-
[Edie] I'm his daughter, Joe, not hers.
[Joe] I want to believe you.

[Edie]
Then believe me. Believe Daddy. He'll come home and he will make it right, I know he will - you'll have a nice Scotch or a Cuban cigar, you'll see-

[Joe] Edie, I-
[Edie] Please.
[Joe] All right. One whiskey. In his study.

[Edie]
Tell him only what you know about me, Daddy.
Not what you don't.
I'm my daddy's girl.
Used to his stony glares.
And I know deep down
He's just critical 'cause... he cares.
"Go find a husband!
Don't waste your life on
Talent you have none of...!"
How can any man,
Even Joe,
Match the gift of a father's love?