Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend (Ronnie Scott's Club London, 2002 Live)

The French are glad to die for love
They delight in fighting duels
But I prefer a man who lives
And gives expensive jewels
A kiss on the hand
May be quite continental
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.

A kiss may be grand
But it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat
Or help you at the automat.

Men grow cold
As girls grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end.

But square-cut or pear-shaped
These rocks don't lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Tiffany's!
Cartier!
Black Starr!
Frost Gorham!
Talk to me Harry Winston
Tell me all about it!

There may come a time
When a lass needs a lawyer
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.

There may come a time
When a hard-boiled employer
Thinks you're awful nice
But get that ice or else no dice.

He's your guy
When stocks are high
But beware when they start to descend.

It's then that those louses
Go back to their spouses
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

I've heard of affairs
That are strictly platonic
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.

And I think affairs
That you must keep liaisonic
Are better bets
If little pets get big baguettes.

Time rolls on
And youth is gone
And you can't straighten up when you bend.

But stiff back
Or stiff knees
You stand straight at Tiffany's.

Diamonds! Diamonds!
I don't mean rhinestones!
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.