Embassy Lament (Live)

Oh, my dear how boring
He's defecting
Just like all the others
He's expecting
Us to be impressed
With what he's done here
But he hasn't stopped
To think about the paperwork
His gesture causes
We've an embassy to run here.

If these people can't strike
Blows for freedom
With a valid visa
We don't need 'em
If we seem offhand
Then please remember
This is nothing very special
He's the fourth we've had
Since last November
Who do these foreign
Chappies think they are?

And when he's safely in the West
He'll be the hero to discuss
The media will lionize him
Fame and fortune plus.

No-one will recall it's
Thanks to us
You have a wife?
Yes.

You have two children?
Yes
And they're not coming with you?
No, not for the moment
You play chess. You are good at it?
Oh. I hear you're world champion.
Since yesterday
That's still good.

Have you an appointment
With the consul?
If you don't
We know what his
Response'll be
He will not see you
With respect it buggers up
His very taxing schedule
Pushing peace and understanding
Let us hope this won't affect it.

Far too many joker
Cross the border
Not a single
Document in order
Russia must be empty
Though we're all for
Basic human rights
It makes you wonder
What they built the Berlin wall for
Who do these foreign
Chappies think they are?

And when you've
Filled in all the forms
And been passed
Clear of all disease
Debriefed, debugged
Dedrugged, disarmed
And disinfected, please
Don't forget the guys
Who cut your keys.