Father

The smell of breath, it makes me sick
Your naked body lying on the floor
I want to kill you but you did it yourself
You killed my innocence
You drunken fuck
I hate you
I piss on your grave and curse your memory.

I was always there in the family hell
I was in your way and you hit me
You cut your wrists and jumped from the 4th floor
I was the last one who saw you alive
I hate you
I damage you
I bury you
I kill you.

I wish you would have been there to watch me grow
Guiding me with wisdom, love and patience
Telling me that you love me and showing it to me
Making this world a safe place to be.

You hurt me so much that I don't know if I'm ever gonna be whole
But I want you to know that I'm gonna try
Still after all that you did I miss you
And the rose and the letter that I brought to your grave
Tells you about my longing.

So I say goodbye to you now after 23 years
You were just a moment of my life and I got to continue
Maybe one day I will be able to forgive you
Until then, goodbye.