Four Days Home

Steven
I got a good deal on these reservations

Trent
Let's take a step back and lower expectations

Steven
I'm psyched i'm gonna meet your family
Finally!

Trent
Goin' back home...
You know it's complicated

Steven
But we're gonna have fun

Trent
As long as i'm sedated
Four days flat, then back to nyc

Steven
It's just four days home

Trent
That's about all i can take
I once stayed a week, and what a big mistake
Only four days home

Steven
Stop playing up the drama

Trent
That's how i get in character
To hang out with my momma!

Steven
Calm down -- i got this. Your mom is going to love me.

Trent
Are you sure you're okay going there as my roommate?

Steven
We've talked about this. We have to start somewhere.

Trent
Okay. But remember our mantra— 

Both
No politics.

Steven
Got it.

Stewardess
We're now landin' in historic big creek, texas!
Enjoy your stay, and remember: everything's bigger in texas!

Steven
Everything?

Trent
Engagement rings off! Momma!

Momma
I got the whole town over for potluck -- everyone's excited to see you.

Trent
Brace yourself.

Family
Trent!
Momma
Have a biscuit or two

Steven
They're beyond believin' 
Uncle
How's your life? Who's your friend?

Steven
I'm his roommate, steven.

Trent
Yes.

Cousin
We're fryin' a turduckin on the lawn

Steven
Yum.

Trent
Spendin our days

Steven
Around the ping pong table

Trent
Spendin our nights

Steven
Enjoyin' christian cable!
Little house!

Trent
Forty-eight more hours and then we're gone
Truly, four days home

Steven
God! I love this scene'ry
And those big blue skies

Trent
But i've got allergies to green'ry

Trent & steven
Four days home

Steven
Lotsa eatin'
Lotsa prayin'
Lotsa learnin' bout the views on the fox news that's always playin'

Trent & steven
Four days home
And we're startin' to get nervous
‘cause we're in the sticks and
Our cellphones can't get service

Trent
We're in sep'rate rooms!
The frustration starts to pile up

Steven
All our porn is on the cloud!

Trent & steven
And it won't come through on dial-up!

Momma
Trent honey -- rise and shine. Ooo steven, you're up too.

Trent
We've been up. We're gonna mow the lawn and fix that back porch screen today.

Steven
Yes, ma'am.

Momma
Don't be silly. It's sunday morning, boys!

Steven
Ooh –- brunch?

Momma
No, sir...church!

All
Amen! 

Pastor
And as good christians, we believe the bible is god's holy word, without error, and the sole authority for life.

Churchgoers
We believe!
Pastor
And as good christians, we believe in fellowship through acts of kindness, understanding, forgiveness, and love.

Churchgoers
We believe!

Pastor
And as good christians, we believe the word when it tells us to cast out those who have chosen the path of sin and will not repent, namely the lesbians and the sodomites!

Steven
What?!!

Trent
Steven, sit down.

Steven
Did you hear that?

Trent
Yes. I heard it. We'll talk about it later.

Churchgoers
We believe the word is true
Amen...

Pastor
Trent-michael. Well now, you're lookin' fine. Your daddy would be so proud. We sure do miss him.

Trent
I miss him too. 
Pastor
Trent! You seein' anyone these days?

Momma
For years, he's been mentioning this girl at work. Another talent agent, like him.

Pastor
Is that so? Hearin' those wedding bells? You know, the last sunday in june is free on the church calendar. 
Trent
Yeah, i think we're in a parade that day.

Trent & steven
It's been four days home,
And we're in an awful state now
‘cause we've had enough of
Pretending that we're straight now
Four days home

Trent
I'm a cranky adolescent
I expected more from my new anti-depressant

Steven
Me too.

Trent & steven
Four days home

Steven
I'm permanently scarred now

Trent & steven
Four days home

[Trent]
Do you see why this is hard now?!?

[Trent]
After four days home

[Steven]
That sermon was appalling

[Trent]
And it's time to go, ‘cause
I hear our life a-calling!

[Stewardess]
We're now making our final descent into laguardia international airport. On behalf of our crew, we'd like to welcome you to new york.

[Trent]
Looking out i start to see the city

[Steven]
All the lights, well they sure are pretty

[Trent & Steven]
After four days home, we're back where we belong
Back where we belong!