Frequency Change

[Intro:]
*Thud*
*Yawn*
*Lighter Flick*
*Channel Switch*

[First Channel: Love Chat Line Teleprompter]
Ooh, you wanna have a fantasy tonight, call 1-800-555-DiC-2...
*Channel Switch*

[Second Channel: Wildlife Documentary Host]
Today on DiCaprio's World Discoveries, I'm here backstage at a hip-hop concert. I just spotted a gaggle of rappers. I see loads and loads of cash in their bags. I see guns with extended clips that don't even fit the guns in their trousers. So what he's trying to say: I'm so tough don't mess with me I'm the baddest bloke on the block...
*Channel Switch*

[Third Channel: Demetrius & Susan]
Susan, I've found another lover
Well so have I, Demetrius, it's over
*Dramatic Music Intensifies*
*Channel Switch*

[Fourth Channel: Anchorman Jason, Anchorman John, & Witness]
Breaking news on DiCaprio 2, channel two, at two. Take it, John
I'm on DiCaprio lane, Jason, in the Mirrorland casino where there seem to be two niggas about to jump ready to die, I'm here on the scene with a witness
*(Reversed Speech)* Them two niggas mad
Oh yeah?
*(Reversed Speech)* That shit was the first black president
Is that right?
*(Reversed Speech)* Barack Obama was number two
Interesting
*(Reversed Speech)* Alive, I said CDC (Do it!, Don't do it!, He's doin' it, dude!)
Oh, shit, there they go
*Audience Gasps*
*Channel Switch*