Funky Cold Medina

Alright, dig it.

Cold coolin' at a bar and I'm lookin' for some action
But like Mike Jagger said, 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction'
The girls are all around but none of them wanna get with me
My threads are fresh and I'm lookin' def, yo, what's up with LOC?

The girls all jockin' at the other end of the bar
Havin' drinks with some no-name chump
When they know that I'm the star
So, I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
I asked the guy, why you so fly? He said, “Funky Cold Medina”.

Funky Cold Medina.

This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass and the girls'll come real quick
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
A couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap.

So, I gave some to my dog when he began to beg
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me
And did the wild thing on my leg
He used to scratch and bite me before he was much, much meaner
But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina.

You know what I'm sayin'?
I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin' down' my door
I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Stroh's
They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal.

I went up to this girl, she said, “Hi, my name is Sheena”
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
She said, I'd like a drink, I said, “Ehm, ok, I'll go get it”
Then a couple sips, she cold licked her lips
And I knew that she was with it.

So, I took her to my crib and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
So, I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener
You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina.

You know, ain't no plans with a man
This is the 80's and I'm down with the ladies
Break it down.

Back in the saddle, lookin' for a little affection
I took a shot as a contestant on 'The Love Connection'
The audience voted and you know they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner.

She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin' soon what I'll be gettin'
Instead she started talkin' 'bout plans for our weddin'
I said, wait, slow down, love, not so fast, says, I'll be seein' ya
That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold Medina.

Ya know what I'm sayin'
That Medina's a monster, y'all.

Funky Cold Medina.