Goodbye Earl

Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends
All through their high school days
Both members of the 4H Club
Both active in the FFA.

After graduation Mary Anne went out
lookin' for a bright new world
Wanda looked all around this town
and all she found was Earl.

Well, it wasn't two weeks
after she got married that
Wanda started gettin' abused
She put on dark glasses
and long sleeved blouses
And make-up to cover her bruise.

Well, she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care.

Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta
On a red eye midnight flight
She held Wanda's hand and they worked out a plan
And it didn't take them long to decide
That Earl had to die.

Goodbye, Earl
Those black-eyed peas?
They tasted all right to me, Earl
You're feeling weak?
Why don't you lay down and sleep, Earl
Ain't it dark?
Wrapped up in that tarp, Earl.

The cops came by to bring Earl in
They searched the house high and low
Then they tipped their hats
and said "Thank You, ladies, if you hear from him let us know".

Well, the weeks went by and spring turned to summer
And summer faded into fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
who nobody missed at all.

So the girls bought some land
and a roadside stand
Out on Highway 109
They sell Tennessee ham
and strawberry jam,
And they don't lose any sleep at night
'Cause Earl had to die.

Goodbye Earl
We need a break
Let's go out to the lake, Earl
We'll pack a lunch
And stuff you in the trunk, Earl
Well, is that all right?
Good! Let's go for a ride, Earl.
Hey.

Well, hey hey hey
Ah, hey hey hey
Well, hey hey hey.