House Shape

I stayed inside all morning
Watching waves of rain pass over
Cold and dry by the window
I didn't turn a light on.

The fireplace dead since last night
Emptiness inside, cold morning
Low grey sky immense living belly
Of a silver fur thing.

In waves of weather the house lies
Piled up wood with me inside
I'm piled up dust, alive, dreaming
Or walking whirlpool of water
Awake and indifferent
Looking at cars go by and then get forgotten
Only a sound of a waterfall breathing out
In one long exhale
Rings in my ears for a moment
Then another wave of rain blows over
Greying out the light
The lawn through window seems undiscovered.

A separate way of seeing
A separate way of breathing it in
A lost world separate from the usual
Barely meaningful waking and dreaming.

Lost in an unfolding
Thinking about what to do with a day
Sitting while the light dies
Until finally it's over.

In blue dusk I finally step outside
Breathing in the cloud that has settled
Noticing a black looming house shape
And at last my eyes crack open.