I Had A Heart

I walk on this frozen lake
Hoping to hit a spot that's weaker than I was
A year a half ago
I remember how Christmas used to be
Before she spat me out
And left me to roam this empty place
If I ran to the city sub lights, I'd still feel dull and worn out.

It's time to start over and move on
My grandma keeps going on about the New Year
She says "you can't miss what you forget."

I'll spend the night slamming doors
Smoking outside my grandparents house
I thought Christmas was the time for us to feel loved.

I feel like no one understands me anymore
Nothing is how it was last year
But it's cold and lonely, just like before.

It's time to start over and move on
My grandma keeps going on about the New Year
She says "you can't miss what you forget."

I'll sit and wonder who she loves instead of me
If she told me who it was
I'm afraid it would rip my heart out
For my family to see
At least they'd know I had a heart.