Imagine If

Every stitch of clothing, every strand of hair
My skin and bones, my toe and finger nails
All my vital organs
Appendages and such, I'm not sure
Every word I say, even the promises.

Every tear and every laugh and every kiss
The good dreams and the bad ones
The whispers and the screams, I'm not sure
I doubt everything, about me
Choices all around me, but which one is mine?

I never thought that I would be so hard to find
I've looked in every mirror
And pictures from the past
I'm not there
I've never been decisive but this takes the cake.

An existential nervousness that I can't shake
I used to be so different
Once I trusted and once I just played
And I can't be too sure, just when it was that I changed
And I can't look at anything without seeing
A million different ways it could be
Including me.