In An Hour Darkly

In einer dunklen stunde, ach, alle stunden sind dunkel hier
Aus einem becher von zartestem flieder trinken wir tee allein mit mir.

My name is broken chalice and leaden i am filled all the way up to the brim
Filled with sadness, and with misery, and the most terrible of things
Very soon i might overflow i fear, as i am filled with so much anger and far too many tears.

These words come from the depth of my discontent
To testify to you of the displeasure that i harbour against the world and therefore myself
Hush, here lies truth, sweet child, in all its obvious simplicity.

A long time ago it seems the boy has come to an agreement with himself
To remain in this wretched life for as long as it hasn reached the point of becoming totally unbearable
Yes, he was prepared to tolerate the bleakness of all things
Of darkness, even nothingness itself
All of this perhaps only to prove that life really isn worth an effort
That an early voluntary death is absolutely always justified.

Yes, i do confess
I have a secret wish
I often dream of dying
To dissolve completely
To simply vanish
So that nothing
Not a single grain
Would ever remain of me
No spark, no energy
No further existence for me
But most of all
No rebirth!

Alas, if i had this chance, this possibility, how free from worries could i be
If i only had this one guarantee that there would be no more tomorrows lying in wait for me.