It Couldn't Please Me More

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER]
Herr Schultz. Can I believe what I see?
But this is too much to accept.
It's so rare...so costly...so luxious...
If you brought me diamonds
If you brought me pearls
If you brought me roses
Like some other gents might bring to other girls
It couldn't please me more
Than the gift I see
A pineapple for me.

[HERR SCHULTZ]
If in your emotion
You began to sway
Went to get some air
Or grabbed a chair to keep from fainting dead away
It couldn't please me more
Than to see you cling
To the pineapple I bring.

[BOTH]
I can hear Hawaiian breezes blow
It's from California
Even so.
How am I to thank you?
Kindly let it pass
Would you like a slice?
That might be nice
But frankly, it would give me gas.

Then we shall leave it here
Not to eat, but see:
A pineapple...
For me
From me
Ahhhh.....

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER]
But you must not bring me any more pineapples.
Do you hear? It is not proper.
It is a gift a young man would bring to his lady-love. It makes me blush.

[HERR SCHULTZ]
But there is no-one...no-one in all of Berlin who is more deserving
If I could, I would fill your room with pineapples!
A pineapple
For you.

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER]
From you
I think I will lie down for a few moments. My head is spinning!

[HERR SCHULTZ]
Fräulein Schneider...good evening.

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER]
Good evening, Herr Schultz.
I am... overwhelmed!