It's Been Awhile

It's been awhile
Since I couldn't
Hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand
On my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you
And all the things I can't remember
As ****ed up as it all may seem
The consequences that are rendered
I stretch myself beyond my means.

And it's been awhile
Since I could say
That I wasn't addicted
It's been awhile
Since I could say
I loved myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and
****ed things up
Just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that ****
Seems to disappear
When I'm with you.

And everything I can remember
As ****ed up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
Have gone and ****ed things up again.

Why must I feel this way
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day.

It's been awhile
Since I couldn't
Look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said, "I'm sorry"
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way
The candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember
Just the way you taste.

And everything I can remember
As ****ed up
As it all may seem to be
I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me.

It's been awhile
Since I couldn't
Hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said, "I'm sorry".