Like A Boss

Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.
No problem
So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say
Absolutely, I'm the boss.
Well, so take us through a day in the life of, "The Boss"
Well the first thing I do is.

Talk to corporate (like a boss)
Approve memos (like a boss)
Read a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct work-flow (like a boss)
My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micro-manage (like a boss)
Promote synergy (like a boss).

Hit on Deborah (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Call a sex line (like a boss)
Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss).

Harassment Lawsuit (like a boss)
No Promotion (like a boss)
5th of vodka (like a boss)
Shit on Deborah's desk (like a boss)
Buy a gun (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh fuck man, I can't fucking do it, shit!

Pussy out (like a boss)
Puke on Deborah's desk (like a boss)
Jump out the windows (like a boss)
Suck a dude's dick (like a boss)
Score some coke (like a boss)
Crash my car (like a boss)
Suck my own dick (like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss).

Chop my balls off (like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (like a boss)
Fuck his brains out (like a boss)
Turn into a jet (like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (like a boss)
Crash into the Sun (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss).

Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then
No doubt
You chopped your balls off and died.
Hell yeah
And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick?
Nope
Actually, I'm pretty sure you did
Nah, that ain't me
OK, well this has been eye-opening for me
I'm the boss
Ya, I know, I got that. You said it about 400 times
I'm the boss
Ya, ya, I got it
I'm the boss
No, I heard you, see you later
(like a boss).