Make Friends With The Truth

Billy put his fingers
In the cookie jar
But when his mom accused him
Billy lied.

She said, "billy please 'fess up, son"
But billy said, "i took none"
He ate what he had taken
And he ran outside
And the very next day
The very next day
Billy's goldfish died
Holy jehosophat!
What did i learn from that
Back in my dissolute youth?
Why be uncool and uncouth?
You better make friends with the truth
Billy broke the windshield
On his neighbor's car
But blamed it on his cousin
Timmy brown
Although his neighbors spied it
Billy still denied it
He said, "it wasn't me
'cause i was out of town"
And the very next day
The very next day
Billy's house burned down
Holy jehosophat!
What did i learn from that
Back in my dissolute youth?
Why be uncool and uncouth?
You better make friends with the truth
Billy stole a pistol
From the corner store
To see what kind of noise
The thing would make
He began to jigger
With what we call the trigger
Told his teacher
"hey don't worry
Cause the thing's a fake"
Then his teacher got shot
Got shot quite a lot
Billy's future was clinched
Cousin billy got lynched
Outside the pearly gates
Up where st. Peter waits
Billy was questioned
Forsooth.

Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
Ah

(as saint peter.)
"did you steal those cookies?"
(as billy.)
"yes i did"
(as saint peter.)
"did you break that windshield?"
(as billy.)
"'deed i did"
(as saint peter.)
"did you shoot that teacher?"
(as billy.)
"'fraid i did"
(as saint peter.)
Look at that! He didn't lie!
He finally made friends with the truth
Welcome to heaven!

Hallelujah!
Haywood
Billy kicked his heels
And up the steps he flew
So thrilled to see
What heaven had in store
But when he knocked the knocker
Billy got a shocker
Now son, you know you gotta use the back door. And that's the real truth!

You better make friends oh
You oughta make friends yes
You gotta make friends with the truth.