Maria

She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee
Her dress has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to mass
And whistles on the stair
And underneath her wimple she has curlers in her hair.

I even heard her singing in the abbey
She's always late for chappel but her penitence is real
She's always late for everything except for every meal
I hate to have to say it but I very firmly feel
Maria's not an asset to the abbey
I like to say a word on her behalf
Maria makes me laugh.

How do you solve a problem like Maria
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down
How do you find a word that means Maria
A flibbertijibbet, a will o-the wisp, a clown.

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand.

O how do you solve a problem like Maria
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand.

When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She's as flighty as a feather.

She's a darling, she's a demon, she's a lamb
She'd outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl.

She is gentle, she is wild
She's a riddle, she's a child
She's a headache, she's and angel
She's a girl.

How do you solve a problem like Maria
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down
How do you find a word that means Maria
A flibbertijibbet, a will o-the wisp, a clown.

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand.

O how do you solve a problem like Maria
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand.