Marry Ann

[Intro:]
Miss Marry Ann
Kept her man
In porcupine gloves, in porcupine gloves
And on that day
As scheduled
They made porcupine love, porcupine love.

[Verse 1:]
So stiff and stuck and prickly
He came in and then back out quickly
But lord not any quicker than according to plan
Like a soldier, one foot in front of the other.

[Bridge:]
Miss Marry Ann
Had a man
Named Stan, Stan Buttler
He had no antlers
He had no center
He had no enter and he had no exit.

[Verse 2:]
His hair was short and prickly
He came in and then back out quickly
But lord not any quicker than according to plan
Like a soldier, one foot in front of the other.

[Chorus:]
And how he loved her apple pies
How he loved her meat loaf
How he loved her chicken breasts
How he loved her pudding
Served promptly at eight o'clock
Served promptly at seven
Served promptly at ten o'clock
And promptly at eleven heaven.

[Bridge:]
Miss Marry Ann
Kept her cans
In alphabetical order
Miss Marry Ann
Began to have
Some thoughts of murder.

Miss Marry Ann
Started to think
Real hard about her future
Miss Marry Ann
Preferred her meat
To be freshly butchered.

[Verse 3:]
Oh she killed him rather quickly
Man that woman was truly sickly
But lord not any sicker than according to plan
Like a soldier, one foot in front of the other.

[Chorus]

[Outro:]
Miss Marry Ann
Kept her man
In porcupine gloves, in porcupine gloves
And on that day
As scheduled
They made porcupine love
Porcupine lo-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-apchu!