Mother Goose

As I did walk by Hampstead Fair
I came upon Mother Goose so I turned her loose
She was screaming
And a foreign student said to me
Was it really true there are elephants and lions too
In Piccadilly Circus?

Walked down by the bathing pond
To try and catch some sun
Saw at least a hundred schoolgirls sobbing
Into hankerchiefs as one
I don't believe they knew
I was a schoolboy.

And a bearded lady said to me
If you start your raving and your misbehaving
You'll be sorry
Then the chicken-fancier came to play
With his long red beard (and his sister's weird
She drives a lorry).

Laughed down by the putting green
I popped `em in their holes
Four and twenty labourers were labouring
Digging up their gold
I don't believe they knew
That I was Long John Silver.

Saw Johnny Scarecrow make his rounds
In his jet-black mac (which he won't give back)
Stole it from a snow man.