Mungojerrie And Rumpleteazer

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats
They have an extensive reputation
They make their home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our centre of operation
For they are incurably given to rove.

If the area window is found ajar
And the basement looks like a field of war
If a tile or two comes loose on the roof
Which presently fails to be waterproof
If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chest
And you can't find one of your winter vests
If after supper one of the girls
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls
Then the family will say, "It's that horrible cat
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer!"
And most of the time they left it at that.

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a very unusual gift of the gab
They were highly efficient cat burglars as well
And remarkably smart at a smash and grab
They make their home in Victoria Grove
They have no regular occupation
They are plausible fellows who like to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation.

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
With their minds made up that they wouldn't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
And the cook will appear from behind the scenes
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
For the joint has gone from the oven like that!"
Then the family will say, "It's that horrible cat
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer!"
And most of the time they left it at that.

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a wonderful way of working together
And some of the time you would say it was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather
They go through the house like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?

And when you heard a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash
Or down from the library there came a loud ping
From a vase that was commonly said to be Ming
Then the family would say: "Now which was which cat
It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer!"
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!