Nan, You're A Window Shopper

[Intro:]
The bottom feels so much better than the top!
So much better.

[Chorus:]
Nan you're a window shopper
Taking a look but you never buy
Nan you're a window shopper
You won't pick it up if its over a fiver.

Nan you're a window shopper
Get on the bus coz you still can't drive
Nan you're a window shopper
Mad as fuck only just alive.

1. Get up in the morning and you like your tea milky
You fumble for your glasses coz without 'em you cant see
It's funny how I come round your house and I'm 20
And I still have to wear all the presents you sent me.

I walk into your kitchen everything's got a label
You done your Christmas shopping and we're only in April
And you wont leave the house unless your wearing your thermals
You're covered all in cat hair and you're stinking like Strepsils.

Your heading down the Bowls Club
Have another orange squash
Balls are rollin rollin rollin
You can't walk right coz things aren't what they were
Your ankles are swollen swollen swollen.

[Chorus]

2. You're walking down the post office to pick up your pension
And then you're off to Bingo, it's become an obssession
So weary of the kids when their wearin' their hoods up
And even if they smile at you, you think its a stick-up.

You only buy the paper just to cut out the coupons
Your saving 50p but what do you want with tampons?
Your always at the doctor picking up your prescription
And they throw in some K-Y just to ease up the friction.

You gotta leak in your colostomy bag
Yeah its got a hole in hole in hole in
At the weekend your shopping with your trolley
Its so sad how your rollin rollin rollin.

[Chorus]