No Surprize

Nineteen seventy one
We all heard the starters gun
New York is such a pity
But at Max's Kansas City we won.

We all shot the shit at the bar
With Johnny O'Toole and his scar
And then old Clive Davis said
He's surely gonna make us a star
I'm gonna make you a star
Just the way you are.

But with all his style
I could see in his eyes
That we is goin' to trial.

It was No Surprise.

The boys kept kickin' ass
As usual time would tell
But some bitch in the choir
Threw water on the fires of hell
She loved to show and tell
Lord she loved to tell.

But with all our style
You could see in our eyes
That we is still on trial.

And it was No Surprize
No Surprize
No Surprize
No Surprize.

Midnight lady
Situation fetal
Vaccinate your ass
With a phonograph needle.

I say
Look it here
Friend of mine
Scratch like you need calomine
Flamingo boots
Sole's a creakin'
Still in love and Puerto Rican too.

Ridin' on the wheels of hell
Smokin' in our axle grease
Oh the backstage is rockin'
And we're coppin' from the local police
That's right the local police
Or the justice of peace.

But with all our style
You could see in our eyes
That we is still on trial.

Baby it's No Surprise
No Surprise
No Surprise
No Surprise.

Rock and roll
Junkie whore
Got my foot inside the door
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock
Nobody's keepin' score.

Bad times
Go away
Come again some other day
Topaz and sazzafrazz
Will keep the blues away.

Candy store
Rock and roll
Corporation jellyroll
Play the singles it ain't me
It's programmed insanity.

You ascap
If BMI
Could ever make a mountain fly
If Japanese can boil teas
Then where the fuck's my royalties.