Nothing

Cold has come to fill my heart
To numb my head and bones
Paralysed and torn apart.

Thick and heavy feelings flow
Through my body turned to stone
Stiffened mind thoughts running slow.

Dead man's image I can see
Had been killed so silently.

Always been first to admit
But the very last to know
Didn't even know a bit
Couldn't see the foe.

How could I have been so blind?
Says the man stabbed from behind.

Every lie I had believed
Everything you misconceived
Every sign I didn't see
The mirror showing me.

And what a long lying
What a wrong trying
And I knew I had to go
Like it was the only thing to know
And I know it was the only way
Not a single word left to say
So without a word I turned my back away
Silently I shut the door
To end the conflict stop the war.

All that was it will be nothing
There is nothing left to say
Not a word not a single word to say.

All that could have been it won't be
Here comes the final day.

Nothing's like it was before
Just no connection anymore
And what a long dying
Such a wrong crying
And I knew I had to grow
Had to never let a weakness show
Had to push the memory far away
Had to try to find myself a better way
Every tear I didn't hide
A tiny little suicide
Every second by your side
A minute more of giving up my pride.

Cold has filled my heart again
And turned my blood to stone
No sun so warm to warm you when
You're naked and alone
Pictures in my head again
That never will be shown
I'll return a stronger man
Stronger than the one you've known.

All that was it will be nothing
There is nothing left to say
Not a word not a single word to say.

Nothing there is nothing
Not a word no alert.

You might change the way you dress
Change the color of your hair
You'll always change your mind I guess
Just like the clothes you wear
So if we ever meet again
A different time a different place
Don't forget I'll know by then
You will never change your ways.

Nothing will be nothing
Not a word not a hurt.

You might have to wear a coat
Weighing on you heavily
You might have to share the load
The load you put on me
There ain't no way now to disclaim
You'll always be the one to blame
So make a profit on the loss
Be a party take your share
Nail your conscience to the cross
To the cross you let me bear.

Nothing will be nothing
Not a word to be heard.

By the way I honestly
Thank you so much for teaching me
I've learned a lot you made me see
You are what I don't want to be.