Open Face Surgery

I've learned to control my thoughts
Ever since I recognized the first eavesdropper
Those who listen in on my thoughts
My logic, my sanity.

I cannot let them know I don't know
The verses, or converse in my head
Lash out at future foes
Banter with friends i've not yet met.

The psychoaggressive minions of
Your lord mock with laugher I can't hear
With hidden scowls they admonish me.

Nothing's sacred, Nothing's safe
Your filthy god is omnipresent
This undying nonentity that haunts
My every waking dream.

They watch me, his mortal flock
They know me now by sight alone
My thoughts are too well concealed
Yet I sense more scrutiny.

Fleeting lucidity's too loud for me
Let me be my silent self
Our existences irreconciled.

Make them stop! I'm rotting fast
The answer, painful though it may be
Is change.

Alter my outer shell
The listener's may not, then, know it's me
Open Face Surgery: short of pain
And long on masquerade
Ounce by ounce, lose a little weight
Nip here, tuck there... So who needs eyelids?