Poor Pirates

Let me begin with a hearty ho ho
And a tale that nobody tells well
I've not come all the way from En-C-I-N-O
To be treated like sewage that smells
I'm certainly not that surprised
For this story is older than time
Me peglegged pirating brethren and I
Are society's slug-ridden slime
We've all been cast out as scallywag rogues
With fire in our beards and our eyes
There's a side to us pirates that nobody knows
And it's soft as a baby's backside
Some of us just want adventures
The open-sea wind in our earrings
Why are we constantly misunderstood
Don't you know pirates have feelings.

Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR
Poor pirates
Can't deny this simple truth
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR.

People too (too, too, too)
Nice harmonies, mateys!

Think of how harrrd we have had it (so hard)
Out on ships there is not much to eat (not much to eat)
And dentists hate pirate insurance (yo ho no)

Which is why we've so many gold teeth
(We've too many gold teeth)

Me laundry stays damp and me boots start to stink
And me fingernails filthy and dirty
Me internet loads unbelievably slow
And me bedtime's around 7:30.

Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR
Poor pirates
Can't deny this simple truth
We're poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR
Poor pirates.

Have it so much worse than you
We've got pirate parades to which nobody comes
Captain Kidd hosts a marathon but nobody runs
Long John Silver invented the bloomin' onion
But you think he gets credit for that? (NO!)
Captain... um... no one knows his first name
And old Greenbeard's been driven completely insane.

Hardly anyone celebrates our one holiday
Arr... Talk Like a Pirate Day!

We're poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR
Poor pirates
Can't deny this simple truth
(Pirates are people too)
Can't deny that we're poor, poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR
Poor pirates
Can't deny this simple truth
That pirates, P-O-O-ARR
People too
Yo ho!