Road To Hell

[HERMES]
Mmm...

[Chorus]
Mmm...

[HERMES]
Mmhm...

[Chorus]
Mmhm...

[HERMES]
Chugga chugga chugga chugga.

[HERMES and Chorus]
Chugga chugga chugga chugga
Chugga chugga chugga chugga.

[HERMES]
Once upon a time there was a railroad line
Don't ask where, brother, don't ask when
It was the road to Hell, it was hard times
It was a world of gods...and men!

It's an old song.

[Chorus]
It's an old song!

[HERMES]
It's an old tale from way back when
It's an old song.

[Chorus]
It's an old song!

[HERMES]
And we're gonna sing it again.

Gods and men, a'ight?
We got some gods in the house tonight!

See, on the road to Hell there was a railroad line
And there were three old women all dressed the same
And they was always singin' in the back of your mind
Everybody meet the Fates!

(FATES bow)

[HERMES]
And on the road to Hell there was a railroad line
And a lady steppin' off a train
With a suitcase full of summertime
Persephone, by name!

(PERSEPHONE bows)

And if you ride that train.

[Chorus]
You ride that train.

[HERMES]
If you ride that train.

[Chorus]
You ride that train.

[HERMES]
If you ride that train to the end of the line
Where the sun don't shine and it's always shady
It's there you'll find the king of the mine
Almighty Mr. Hades!

(HADES bows)

[HERMES]
We got any other gods?
Oh, right, almost forgot...

On the road to Hell there was a railroad station
And a man with feathers on his feet
Who could help you to your final destination
Mr. Hermes, that's me!

(HERMES bows)

[HERMES]
See, someone's got to tell the tale
Whether or not it turns out well
Maybe it will turn out this time
On the road to Hell
On the railroad line
It's a sad song.

[Chorus]
It's a sad song!

[HERMES]
It's a sad tale, it's a tragedy
It's a sad song.

[Chorus]
It's a sad song!

[HERMES]
We're gonna sing it anyway.

Now, not everyone gets to be a god
And don't forget that times are hard
Hard times in the world of men
Let me introduce you to a few of them.

You can tip your hats and your wallets
Brothers and sisters, boys and girls
To the hardest working Chorus
In the gods' almighty world!

(CHORUS bows)

[HERMES]
And workin' just as hard for you
Let's see what this crew can do!

(HERMES introduces the band. Band break. COMPANY applauds)

[HERMES]
A'ight!
A'ight!
On the road to Hell there was a railroad line
And a poor boy workin' on a song.

[ORPHEUS]
La la la la la la...

[HERMES]
His mama was a friend of mine
And this boy was a muse's son
On the railroad line on the road to Hell
You might say the boy was touched.

[ORPHEUS]
La la la la la la...

[HERMES]
Cause he was touched by the gods themselves!
Give it up for Orpheus!

(ORPHEUS misses the cue)

[HERMES]
Orpheus!

(ORPHEUS bows)

[HERMES]
There was one more soul on this road
Girl, come on in from the cold!
On the railroad line on the road to Hell
There was a young girl looking for something to eat!
And brother, thus begins the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice!

It's a love song.

[Chorus]
It's a love song!

[HERMES]
It's a tale of a love from long ago
It's a sad song.

[Chorus]
It's a sad song!

[HERMES]
But we're gonna sing it even so
It's an old song.

[Chorus]
It's an old song!

[HERMES]
It's an old tale from way back when
And we're gonna sing.

[HERMES and Chorus]
We're gonna sing
We're gonna sing it again!

[HERMES]
Again!
Again!