Safer

I know that I have issues
I face them, I swear
Think I overcome them
Then turn - they're still there.

Wish that I was different
I'd like to let go
But when I try to change
There's my past, saying no.

Maybe it's all 'cause of dad
His new kids, his new wife
Or why not just blame mom
Who's been nuts my whole life...

When you've felt so alone since
The moment of brith
And you're struggled to find
Your own true sense of worth.

When it seems there is no one
Across this whole earth
To depend upon, you carry on
Just like you always do.

'Cause it's safer to rely on you
Oh, it's safer to rely on you.

Seen a million movies
All selling true love
Fantasies I'm not sure
That I'm worthy of.

Caution to the wind
My heart's been on display
Still the end result is
It's not gone my way.

So when I date some new guy
Who's a deadbeat or jerk
At least I'm not so crushed
When it all doesn't work...

When you once, unafraid
Wore your heart on your sleeve
And the ones that you loved
Chose to just turn and leave.

Every day it gets harder to
Somehow believe
You will survive, so you strive
Just to keep up your guard.

'Cause it's safer to hold every card.
Oh, it's safer to hold every card.

I feel out of control
I feel safe on the ground
I go building up walls
Yet I wish to be found.

A true contradiction to which I am bound
As I keep on spinning around and around...

And I look at the people
Who've worked it all out
And I wonder why I'm still
A bundle of doubt and sometimes
I wanna just stand up and shout...

"Just commit and deal with it
Before your life flies by...
Don't let your life fly by ..."

But is it safer?
Maybe it's safer
If I don't try.