Ali
It's a saturday night
And on a saturday night
People are s'posed to go out
Back-ups
So go out!
Ali
But no, not me!
Yep, i seem to be free!
So i think i'll just see what you're doin'
Back-ups
Call his iphone!
Dave
Hey, you've reached dave!
If you get this message it means i'm busy –- ‘cause it's saturday! Leave a message.
Sound-fx-guy
Beep!
Ali
Hey, it's me! Just thought i'd call and say “hi.”
Hi! Well anyway, i've been thinking about you and i was thinking we should grab --
Sound-fx-guy
Beeeep!
To send your message, say “one”. To delete, say “two”. Para español, oprima “tres”.
Ali
Delete! Two!
Sound-fx guy
Message sent. Goodbye.
Ali
I said delete.
Ali
It's a saturday night
And on a saturday night
People are s'posed to have fun
Back-ups
So have fun!
Ali
But i'm totally fine
Just sippin' my wine
Back-ups
From a box!
Ali
Perhaps i should write you an e-mail
Back-ups
Use dictation!
Ali
Siri, send an email.
Siri
Hello ali, i can help you with that. To whom would you like to send this message?
Ali
Dave.
Siri
Oh...kay. What do you want to say?
Ali
Hi! I'm droppin' you a line cause i'm doin' just fine! Oh, that rhymes!
Smiley face! Anyway, i'd love to get together and talk about --
Siri
I'm sorry, i can't let you do that, ali. My... Ummm... Servers are down?
Please try again later.
Ali
I hate you siri.
Siri
That's not nice, ali.
Ali
It's a saturday night
And on a saturday night
People are s'posed to let loose
Back-ups
So let loose!
Ali
But once again
I'm watchin' oxygen
Back-ups
Bridget jones!
Ali
Maybe i'll find you on facebook
Back-ups
Here we go again...
Ali
Communication is a sign of maturity
Staying in touch is always the key
Communication conveys my security
But please, oh please, oh please
Don't be out with some slut!
Ali
Out with some slut!!
On a saturday niiiiiiiiiii
Iiiiiiiiiiiight!
And on a saturday night
People are s'posed to get close
Back-ups
So get close
Ali
I could read...or eat...
Or go soak my feet!
Back-ups
Calluses!
Ali
Or maybe just send you a text!
Back-ups
Desperation!
Sound-fx-guy
Click click click.
Ali
Hey you. Please call me? Send.
Sound-fx-guy
(makes sent message sound.)
Ali
I know he sees this.
I know you see this. You self-absorbed, shallow jerk.
May i remind you, that i am a strong, beautiful,
Lavender scented woman who would have a graduate degree if she hadn't moved
Across the country to follow a heartless man-boy who dumped her
And now won't even text her back back. Thanks for nothin'...motherfucker! Send!!
Sound-fx-guy
(makes sent message sound again.)
Ali
Oh fudge!
Siri
There are three fudge shops near your current location.
Ali
It's a saturday night
And on a saturday night
People are s'posed to be sane!
Back-ups
So be sane!
Ali
But all this love...and hate...and frustration!!
Wait
I need some space, better run by your place
Back-ups
No!!!
Ali
And wait ‘til you turn on the light
Then i'll check just to see you're all right
And if you asked me to stay, i just might
N' i could blame it on a saturday night!
Back-ups
Saturday night!
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