Shooter Guy

Alright
Ramirez! Tie my shoelaces!

Well I'm a military man with a heart of lead
I got a floating M4 stickin' out of my head
Got a cacophonous captain always screaming at me
I got the Burgertown blues times Infinity.

I was the brightest in my unit got the tightest of training
So why am I down on the range learning basic aiming?
Guess I must have got my screws knocked loose in a fight
Cause I don't even remember how to aim down sights.

Now that the training is done we're on a chopper to war
Captain Noisy is yelling and telling us what we're here for
The mission is critical with volition political
I could question it but I ain't feeling too analytical.

Cause a dude on a rooftop with an RPG
Just sent us spinning around 360 degrees
Like a pre-pubescent sniper on 10 sensitivity
I spin in circles with a bunch of dudes yelling at me.

Cause I'm the shooter guy, shooter guy
Laws of physics and logic need not apply
I'm the shooter guy, shooter guy
As long as I got my wall I will never die.

360 no-scope triple collateral guys OH MY GOD headshot bitch! I'm a sniper!

Now the world it is fading and my vision's degrading
Through slow motion I'm wading with the bad guys invading
Look around in a blur and see the bodies and blood
I get control of my legs again and I crawl through the mud.

Snipers on ledges wearin bulletproof apparel
Why are those idiots standing next to those flammable barrels?
Red containers of death make for easy kills
They must spend a fortune on the fuel bill.

I got a secret vacuum cleaner from my shirt to my pants
Sucks up ammo off the floor straight into my hands
Just gotta walk over bodies now I refill when I kill
Teabag your necrotic face for homoerotic thrills.

I take a rocket to the face and a shot to the balls
But it's ok I got my good friend Chest High Wall
Hiding in cover behind my wall I will hover
And in a couple of seconds I will be fully recovered.

Cause I'm the shooter guy, shooter guy
Laws of physics and logic need not apply
I'm the shooter guy, shooter guy
As long as I got my wall I will never die.

That's right
SOAP!

So now I'm right in the battle explosions roar and they rattle
All of the grunts in my unit are getting slaughtered like cattle
Stupid morons keep running out in front of my shots
Then they bitch at me for shooting them, who programmed these bots?

And just when I'm in the zone and the murder's becoming fun
Here comes the heavy armoured chopper with the big minigun
I waste a thousand freakin' bullets and it's still not down
Oh look, a launcher's lying conveniently on the ground.

Boom goes the rocket that I pulled out of my pocket
Got an infinite stash and no armour's gonna block it
Now we got a locked door blocking my route
But Captain Noisy has a key in the shape of his boot.

We go sneaking and a peeking through the enemy base
Into the fire we race, bodies all over the place
Holding x is effective to achieve our objective
‘Get to the chopper!' is our final directive.

I'm the shooter guy, shooter guy
Laws of physics and logic need not apply
I'm the shooter guy, shooter guy
As long as I got my wall I will never die.

Cause I'm the shooter guy, shooter guy
I'm a walkin' talkin' cliche this I can't deny
I'm the shooter guy, shooter guy
As long as I got my wall I will never die.

Middle class white kids rapping
Is so Ghetto.

RAMIREZ!