Sky Hooks And Tartan Paint

[Verse 1:]
My first day in the shipyard, the gaffer says to me
"I want you to go to the store lad and get a few things, you see?
Now here's a list, can you read lad? Can you read it back to me?
And me and the boys will listen while were having our morning tea"
Now reading was my pride when I left school at fourteen
There wouldn't be no problem here, I'd show them I was keen
But when I starts to reading, they just couldn't hold their mirth
Hugging themselves and spluttering like they was giving birth.

[Chorus:]
"First off a brace of sky hooks and a packet of nail holes neat
And then three cans of tartan paint, and that's my task complete"
The gaffer pats me on the head and sends me on me way
He says, "Don't come back empty handed lad, or I'll have to dock your pay".

[Verse 2:]
So I gets to the store all nervous and the quartermaster's there
I pulls the list out of me pocket and I starts to read all square
Well I hadn't barely finished when the store-man's face turns red
He gives me such an evil look I thought I'd soon be dead.

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
I gets back home that evening and me mother says to me
"How was it son? How was your day? Sit down and have some tea"
I told her of the list I'd read and the trouble I was in
I couldn't go back tomorrow or the gaffer'd have me skinned.

[Chorus]