The Actress Hasn't Learned The Lines (You'd Like To Hear)

Thus all fairy stories end
Only an actress would pretend
Affairs of state are her latest play
Eight shows a week, two matinees
My how the worm begins to turn
When will the chorus girl ever learn?
My how the worm begins to turn
When will the chorus girl ever learn?

The chorus girl hasn't learned the lines you'd like to hear
She won't go scrambling over the backs of the poor to be accepted
By making donations just large enough to the correct charity
She won't be president of your wonderful societies of philanthropy
Even if you asked her to be
As you should have asked her to be.

The actress hasn't learned the lines you'd like to hear
She won't join your clubs, she won't dance in your halls
She won't help the hungry once a month at your tombolas
She'll simply take control as you disappear.

Forgive my intrusion but here in this neat little can
I have a product to change your conception of man
A brand new insecticide, a remarkable chemical feat
Instantly rendering other insecticides obsolete
Licensing slaughter of insects is hardly my mission.

Goodnight and thank you whoever
We've no time for you, but one thing we do
Emphasize
It's an ill wind that blows nobody good
The news may b e bad
For one Argentine lad
But it's good news for Argentine flies
And the money kept rolling in from every side.