The Close Shave, East At Glendart

Come gather round you diggers who work the goldfields rare
It's of a trick was played on me which caused me to despair
I came to town the other day my hard earned gold to trade
'Twas there I met a pretty maid, who did my heart betray
Her lips were red as roses, her eyes a deep sky blue
Her hair as yellow as the gold, she stole from me and you.

She took me to a public house and there we did imbibe
In whiskey and strong porter, and dreadful stuff besides
It's then she asked me up to bed, to which I did agree
But truth to tell I fell asleep, before she earned her fee.

When I awoke next morning, no trousers could I find
But scattered all around me were women's clothes so fine
My jacket, shoes and gold had gone, and all that's left behind
Is a woman's dress, a yellow wig and a shaving kit, not mine.

Why did she need the wig? Why did she need to shave?
It's then the truth it struck me, in a fit of blinding rage
My pretty maid's a man I cried, be thanks I fell asleep
I'd rather lose a bag of gold, than face that dirty creep.

To venture in the street again, I cautiously inclined
I had a shave, put on the wig, and wore the dress so fine
And as I walked along the road, a digger gave a wink
I thought of all the gold he had, so I offered him a drink.

Now you might think it sinful, oh you might think it bold
To take advantage of the lads who struggle for the gold
It's easy putting on a dress and drinking whiskey neat
But leave your shaving kit behind when they are fast asleep.