The Man Upstairs

The guy upstairs is such a freak
For 5 years now i had a leak
What does he do up there?
All day long he sleeps all day
He comes home in the most intoxicated way
As far as i can tell he juggles bowling balls
But he's not good at it
He moves his furniture
At 6 a.m he pulls out the vacume cleaner to suck his room.

The guy downstairs is also crazy
He spent some time in an institute it did him not much good
He's off his medication and he starts screamin'
"Virgin mary! Fucking aliens!"
According to him jesus christ smokes crack and other sundry things
But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings won't let me sleep.

Please! Kill that man upstairs!
If you ever loved me you'll do this one thing won't you sweetheart?
Please! Murder that man upstairs!
If you want to be my friend you have to prove you mean it.

I used to think that rent control was a good idea
Until i moved in here
Now i'm the only sucker paying more than a hundred bucks a room
And i'm surrounded by lunatics who dont even need the moon
But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings won't let me sleep.

Please! Kill that man upstairs!
If you ever loved me you'll do this one thing won't you sweetheart?
Please! Murder that man upstairs!
If you want to be my friend you have to prove you mean it.

Then there's the woman across the hall
Who always knows whats going on
And machu-pichu down the stairs who's selling crack from door to door
14b are refugees
14a transvestite whores
Well you know who is coming home he's falling up his drunken stairs.

Please! Kill that man upstairs!
If you ever loved me you'll do this one thing won't you sweetheart?
Please! Murder that man upstairs!
If you want to be my friend you have to prove you mean it.