Try Me

Mr Maraczek, you've gotta stop thinking of me as just a delivery boy
In a suit, with a tie, I look old
And I've been training myself to be a salesclerk
Training hard, for two years.

You've been training?
I have trained myself
Going shelf by shelf
And I know every item in the store
Every tube, jar, box, bottle, carton and container
Where they are
What they cost
What they're for.

Although it's something you have never thought about Mr Maraczek
Try me
You need a man who knows the business inside out Mr Maraczek
Try me.

You need help or I'd have never spoken
And why break someone in
When I'm already broken?

In this emergency I wouldn't let you down Mr Maraczek
Try Me
Oh I can see by the uncertain way you frown that you ask yourself
Why me?
For first class clerking and consciencious working
Mr Maraczek, why not
Try me
Alright. This cream is sour. Very sour. Take it back.

You wish to return this jar madam
Certainly right you are madam
You say it smells like a drownded cat
Oh! It does at that
At Maraczek's madam we claim with pride the customer must be satisfied
The customer must be satisfied
By the way we have a special sale on autumn heather
Let me spray some on your hand
Here we'll smell it together.

It has the three elements of good perfume
Attractive to the nose
Invisible to the eye
And fuctional.

My wife has used it time and again
It's very appealing to us men
I use it myself every now and then.

I'll take it!
Certainly madam. Oh Miss Ritter! (cough) Miss Ritter
Thats twenty and six for the autumn heather
Eight and three for the cream
Thirty two even for that bottle of mermaids dream
One and three for the eyebrow pencil
Nine for the large shampoo
And then for the jar you're bringing back thats four and two for you
That's a total of ninety eight less four and two for the jar
Out of a hundred? Cha-ching!
Here's your change
Five and two
There you are
The biggest sale in several years I believe.

Thank you madam
Please call again
Glad I could help
Here is my card
Thank you madam
Please call again
Do call again, madam.

I would glady grow a moustache if you like Mr Maraczek
Try me
Oh I would even think of giving up my bike Mr Maraczek
Try me.

For first class clerking and consciencious working
Mr Maraczek, why not
Try me!