Unsent

Dear Matthew, I like you a lot
I realize you're in a relationship with someone right now
And I respect that
I would like you to know that if you're ever single in the future
And you want to come visit me in California
I would be open to spending time with you
And finding out how old you were
When you wrote your first song.

Dear Jonathan, I liked you too much
I used to be attracted to boys who would lie to me
And think solely about themselves
And you were plenty self-destructive for my taste at the time
I used to say the more tragic, the better
The truth is whenever I think of the early 90s
Your face comes up with a vengeance
Like it was yesterday.

Dear Terrance, I love you muchly
You've been nothing but open-hearted
And emotionally available and supportive
And nurturing and consummately there for me
I kept drawing you in
And pushing you away
I remember how beautiful it was to
Fall asleep on your couch and cry in front of you for the first time
You were the best platform from which to jump beyond myself
What was wrong with me?

Dear Marcus, you rocked my world
You had a charismatic way about you with the women
And you got me seriously thinking about spirituality
And you wouldn't let me get away with kicking my own ass
But I could never really feel relaxed and looked out for around you though
And that stopped us from going any further than we did
And it's kind of too bad because we could've had much more fun.

Dear Lou, we learned so much
I realize we won't be able to talk for some time
And I understand that as I do you
The long distance thing was the hardest and we did as well as we could
We were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives
I will always have your back and be curious about you
About your career, your whereabouts.