Wonderful Town Ohio

Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh
Why did I ever leave Ohio?
Why did I wander to find what lies yonder
When life was so cozy at home?

Wondering while I wonder
Why did I fly?
Why did I roam?
Oh, why, oh, why, oh
Did I (You) leave Ohio?
Maybe I'd better go
Home
O-H-I-O
Maybe I'd (You'd) better go
Home.

Well, mother, this song still doesn't explain why you abandoned your children
Ohio was stifling, and we couldn't wait to get out of the place
And I told you, "Sue, we're going to be hunting Nazis"
And Pop said, "Sue, this might take a little while"
Well, those Nazis are slippery, and me hunting them way down in Lima, Peru
And we'd get postcards from Niagara Falls
Well, I'm stalking Mengele in Bolivian malls

Three times a year we'd get crackling phone calls!
Happy birthday
"Hunting Nazis!"
Merry Christmas
"Hunting Nazis!"
Homesick
Abandoned
Heartsick
Neglected!

Thank heavens we're free!
Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh
Why did I ever leave Ohio?
Oh, why, oh, why, oh
Did I (You) leave Ohio?
Maybe I'd better stay
Home.